From Visual Developer Magazine #40, October/November 1996


Ten Megs of RAM



To the eternal memory of Theodor Geisel 1904-1991, who, as Dr. Suess, taught bazillions of American kids that poetry should have rhyme and meter, and can be recited effectively while running madly around the house in your underwear. Try that with Robert Lowell!

I cram RAM.
I cram RAM.

I'm RAM-I-Cram and I sell RAM.
Do you have ten megs of RAM?

I do not have ten megs of RAM.
I do not need them, RAM-I-Cram.

Do you code in C++?
Simulate a railroad truss?

I never code in C++
Nor simulate a railroad truss.
I do not have ten megs of RAM;
I do not want them, RAM-I-Cram!

Play a game of Network Quake?
Or VR Vampire! Here's your stake!

That is not my idea of fun;
I only like my steaks well-done.
I do not need ten megs of RAM;
I will not buy them, RAM-I-Cram!

Build a swapfile like NT's!
Multitask your EXEs!

RAM, you can nag till hell might freeze;
Up in the air or on your knees:
I do not want ten megs of RAM;
I will not use them, RAM-I-Cram!

Fill your laptop to the brim!
Take them! Take them! Here's the SIMMs!

Not in my lap! Not COD!
It's all a trap! RAM, let me be!
I do not want ten megs of RAM;
I can't afford them, RAM-I-Cram!

Hmmmm...have you tried ten megs of RAM?

(Long pause, mouse clicks, disk noises)

You've won again, you nasty man;
I must have those ten megs of RAM.
My spreadsheets load in half a flash,
(Although you've drained my bank of cash).

Well, sure, the payoff's worth that risk;
Now... you have four gigs of disk?